mixed emotions today

This is it, my last day at the office.  I have very mixed emotions about it.  It’s been a very hard week to get through and today will be even worse.

The empty cubicle

On one hand, it sucks getting laid off.  Actually, in the IT consulting world, they call it being on bench time.  You get paid to stay home and do nothing while your company looks for a new position for you.  The bigger the company, the more likely chance  a new place will be found.

The length of time you get paid and the amount of your salary you get paid varies from company to company.  My company is small,  and so is the paid bench time, but at least I will have a few weeks of being able to look for a job while still being paid something.  I know that is better than what most people get.

It’s a good company to work for and the majority of the people are great.  I know this situation has more to do with the economy than my skills.  I know the VP would rather not have to put people on the bench, but they have to make a profit.  That’s how they stay in business.

On the other hand, I’m excited that it is my last day!  I loved the work I did here, but the team never really jelled.  Yes, we programmers do sit behind a computer all day and write code that non programmers think looks like a bunch of gibberish.  It a job that doesn’t necessarily involve a lot of interaction with others.

But when a team doesn’t work together, it makes for a not so nice working environment.  Everything about this project is kept very close to the vest by the project manager.  There is no such thing as team meetings here!

Tasks are doled out one at a time and when you finish with one, you are given another.  The development team all feel like we are just peons and not really an intrinsic part of the project.  It’s very hard to keep motivated over all, as I’ve never worked on team like this before.  I know it’s not the norm.  But I do love programming, and that has provided all the motivation I need.

I don’t think I realized just how much I didn’t like it on this team until I started feeling this incredible sense of freedom building inside me.  I’m almost ashamed to say, I feel like I am being let out of prison, even though I know it was one I built myself.

Goodbye!

Now comes the job hunting part of life.  Yuck!  Richmond is a small town for the IT industry and I’ve already had cold calls from recruiters who have heard rumors about what is going on here, so I think I have a good chance at finding another position in the next 6 months.  From my thoughts to God’s ears!

I’m incredibly happy.  I know that regardless of what happens, we’ll be okay.  Our goals may not be reached as quickly as we would like, but we’re pretty frugal people and we’ll be fine financially.  We’ll still have plenty of love even if we don’t have plenty of money!  And, more importantly, my mind will be in a better place.

I hope y’all have an awesome weekend!

I only visited one random blog yesterday.  I read the first post then had to go back and read the whole thing!

Eleanor Called Ella

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6 Responses to mixed emotions today

  1. Kristin says:

    Good luck with everything! Sometimes leaving a job (whether by your own choice or the company’s) can be the best thing to happen to you. Now the possibilities are endless.

    I know a recruiter for the tech industry/IT jobs who helped me get my current job (I work at a tech company, but in a marketing role). I can make an introduction for you on Linkedin if you want. Here’s their website: http://www.jpatrick.com/

  2. Hi Shell,
    I can imagine you felt very sad today but as they say as one chapter closes another begine. I raise my glass to you gal and here’s to the future!!
    Cheers 🙂
    PiP
    🙂

  3. Theresa says:

    Well, I can definitely understand the mixed emotions! Interesting to read your thoughts on IT work. The spouse is a team lead in IT and often complains about his days being filled with meetings and no chance to work. Good luck with your last day & enjoy that beach time 😀

    • Seashell says:

      What your husband experiences is pretty normal in IT. No meetings is just plain weird! There is no concept among the team members as to the whole picture. Those of us getting laid off were blindsided. But, it’s all water under the bridge now.

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