don’t be sleepy, bored or cold in New Jersey

I’m thinking there could be some form of repercussion sometime in the future for even writing this post.  Maybe they won’t let me fly to Mexico for vacation or maybe they won’t let me fly back into the country.

The New Jersey Department of Homeland Security has issued a document for the residents and workers of New Jersey to make them aware of terrorists.  After all, they may be living right next door!  The guy across the street may be planning to blow up your community association office!

Now read this carefully folks.  Here are some signs to look for that make a person suspicious:

A trance-like gaze – I don’t know about you, but I do this.  I just zone out.  I end up totally engrossed in my thoughts and don’t even know what I’m staring at, much less that I’m gazing at something.  Wow!  Strike one for me.

Exaggerated yawning when engaged in conversation – I have a seven AM flight, which means I’ll need to be up early.  After all, airports say to be there 2 hours before your flight to make sure you can get through security in time.  I think for an international flight, it’s 4 hours.  That ain’t gonna happen!  Beside, airplane travel and waiting in the terminal is boring.  Scuba Man would think there was something wrong with me if I didn’t yawn…a lot!  Ooh, strike two.

Excessive fidgeting, clock watching, and head turning – I hate sitting in an airport waiting.  Who actually likes it?  Let’s face it, the seats they have for waiting, unless you have membership to one of those fancy clubs, are damn uncomfortable, therefore I fidget.  I also watch the clock because I’m impatient to get aboard and go.  I like to watch people, so I end up turning my head to do it.  Strike three.  Or is this three, four, and five?  They’re really adding  up.

Goose bumps – Seriously?  I’m frequently cold.  With being cold sometimes comes goose bumps.  I can’t control it.  I’m always cold in airports and airplanes, and most everywhere else.    Strike four.  Or is that six?

Rigid posture with minimal body movements and arms close to sides – ha!  Like there’s any other way to sit in coach seats on an airplane.  I’m doomed…

I’ve equated all of this to flying, but the document doesn’t specify any distinctive activity when looking for these behaviors.  There are also suspicious behaviors involving people, things, and vehicles.  These are considered surveillance, which is also suspicious:

Sitting in a parked vehicle – no more waiting for Scuba Man to run into a store to get something while I wait in the car.  At least not in New Jersey.

Cameras – so much for all the equipment I bought for learning photography.  I’m probably on a list somewhere for that.

Laptops and PDAs – I have my TouchPad with me almost always.  It’s an instant book.  Matter of fact, it’s a lot of instant books.  I love to read, anywhere, anytime.  I’m probably on the transit company’s suspicious list because I read on the bus and take notes for books I review.

Diagrams or maps or GPS devices – this one is incredibly hard to believe.  If I don’t know how to get somewhere, I’m going to have a map, even if it’s just a google map.  How many of you out there do not have a phone that’s GPS enabled?  I have an older model, mid-range priced, smart phone and even it has GPS,  though I have no idea how to use it.

The document goes on with other things like the above.  I couldn’t read it all, I was too amazed at all the crap in it!  Apparently, it is a hand-out for a class.  At the end of the document is the script for the power point/slide show that is part of the presentation.

I would say I was going to avoid New Jersey at all costs, but this same sort of thing is probably happening in every state, even mine.  Don’t get me wrong, I love this country with all my heart, but what is this country coming to when its ordinary citizens can be considered suspect because of ordinary things they do?

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