it’s funky time again

As in, I’m in a funk and I need to get out of it.  I know most of the reason is total sadness about Brian, the feeling of such a loss.  Concern for my sister and wishing I could take away her pain, although I know I can’t.  I have felt 100% unmotivated since getting home from vacation.

And, today, Scuba Man had to go to Dallas for business, until Friday night.

I guess it’s because of this mood I’ve been in, but I almost lost it this morning when I said good-bye to him.  That’s not my normal reaction.  Usually, I look forward to having a few days alone.  This trip, I didn’t want him to go.  I want him to be here, right now.  Not for anything special, I just wish he were here.  His presence is a comfort to me.  Love does that to you!

So, I’m facing this evening alone and unmotivated.  Too unmotivated to even want to go to the store for Haagan-Daz ice cream!  That’s probably a good thing though.  Comfort eating isn’t the answer.  I’ll just concentrate on telling myself tomorrow will be better, and just veg until then.

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4 Responses to it’s funky time again

  1. barb19 says:

    It’s going to take some time to conquer your sadness of losing Brian, Shell; all you can do is support your sister and vice versa. Talk about Brian, make him a part of your conversations; he is still there in your hearts so include him. It will get easier. The sadness will gradually become less and less as your pain starts to ease. Hang in there Shell.
    It’s great to have Scuba Man to lean on, especially just now, but the few days apart could be a positive for you, use it wisely – and before you know it, Scuba Man will be back home with you!

  2. I am so sorry for your loss, and I hope that both you and your family begin to feel whole again soon. You are in my prayers.

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